Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
