My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So vagazzling was a success
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
