You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
