I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
