That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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