is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
