Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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