READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
