who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
