we're blogging at a bar
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
