Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
