I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
