Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize