My Higher Power is John Stamos
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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