another moral hangover. fuck.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
