OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
