I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize