Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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(214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s

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(805): View more from California

at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

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(805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph

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(707): View more from California

Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.

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(707): Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping. http://tfl.nu/7pjn

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(636): View more from Missouri

I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.

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(636): I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap. http://tfl.nu/1yuw

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(562): View more from California

Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

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(562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy

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(941): View more from Florida

She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

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(941): She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina??? http://tfl.nu/hnyt

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(480): View more from Arizona

She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...

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(480): She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight... http://tfl.nu/8zew

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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever

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(847): I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever http://tfl.nu/aala

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.

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(617): You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints. http://tfl.nu/h72d

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(323): View more from California

He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated

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(323): He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated http://tfl.nu/z16t

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(719): View more from Colorado

i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.

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(719): i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please. http://tfl.nu/3lio

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(337): View more from Louisiana

He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.

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(337): He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked. http://tfl.nu/vhc3

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.

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(715): At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves. http://tfl.nu/lin3

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(312): View more from Illinois

Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....

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(312): Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird.... http://tfl.nu/u9p7

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(520): View more from Arizona

Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...

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(520): Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour... http://tfl.nu/y7yu

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