Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption