Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.