Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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