Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
