So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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