so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
