I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize