i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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