hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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