I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
