I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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