Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
