and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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