Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My boob is missing a layer of skin
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
