Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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