I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
