its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
