shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
