If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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