I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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