North Korea, Best Korea!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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