drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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