Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
