awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
