Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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