why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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