You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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