Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
