Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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