I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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