I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
