The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
