Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
