i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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