Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lilmave82 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

Fav 22 2105 4274
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

Fav 43 11737 1244
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.

Fav 16 3772 1094
share tweet
(562): View more from California

Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

Fav 38 2881 8146
share tweet
(705): View more from Ontario

And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab

Fav 9 2064 1021
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.

Fav 4 1382 2470
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.

Fav 11 2447 1006
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(262): View more from Wisconsin

No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green

Fav 0 251 124
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(620): View more from Kansas

She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?

Fav 0 100 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT