If that was your dad, he is hot
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
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oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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