My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
