i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
