ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
