im drinking this country out of the recession.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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