It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize