I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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