Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so that wasnt chicken after all
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
